The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
