i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
