Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
