she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
