So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
