if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
zippers are such a cool invention
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
