Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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