I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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