He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
