I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize