I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
