You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize