just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
