We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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