i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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