You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
