i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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