i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
