Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
