he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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