I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize