i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
