I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
