I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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