i just wanna soil my oats bro
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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