dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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