yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
