Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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