yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
A+ Viking dick
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
