Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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