I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
