We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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