I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize