I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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