I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize