his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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