I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
