Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
