I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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