If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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