I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
