Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
