Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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