Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
