Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
