I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
