so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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