I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
