She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
