Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
