Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
