Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
