Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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