Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize