i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
