Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize