after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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